The Self-Differentiated Leader and Learner

Being an effective leader now is highly demanding, and interpersonal situations are more complex than ever. It is essential to understand that negativity and people with a fixed mindset will be part of our lives, especially when implementing our Innovation Proposal. The leaders leading change need to know that a factor such as anxiety will not disappear, but they can reach their goal by managing it. Finding the balance and keeping ourselves in control will make our journey less stressful.

When negativity is in the team we want to work with, we must focus on what we try to achieve. We must ignore the messages transmitted by individuals who oppose the change that can significantly impact our students’ lives. We need to let our actions be proof to other individuals that are watching the change happen.

We need to approach our implementation proposal simply and sincerely, expecting that we will have Crucial Conversations regarding what is best for our students. Differentiated leaders can tolerate other people’s discomfort because this encourages them to take personal responsibility. Always feel encouraged when you have someone with intentions to sabotage the proposed change, as this is an indicator that you are doing the right thing as a leader.

Moving forward, we will be looking into how to address these Crucial Conversations as we are thinking about our proposal.

Crucial Conversations

Education is defining the future of our next generations, and this makes every decision extremely important. As changes are necessary, we need to acknowledge that our environment must comprehend the Why we are making such decisions. Still, at the same time, our community must be part of the decision-making (Teachers, parents, community). 

At many points of this process, we will find people with different opinions and perspectives on How and What needs to change. As leaders, we must identify these situations and use an effective strategy to maintain the conversation focused on growth and the results our innovation seeks.   

Crucial Conversations Strategies

1. Start with Heart

My focus is to maintain the emotions under control and transmit my passion for creating the opportunity for our students to learn the fundamentals of Engineering. 

2. Learn to Look

Always paying attention to all meetings with teachers and parents and board members, monitoring the atmosphere sharing our discussion, nothing, looking for signs that others are uncomfortable, such as masking, avoiding, withdrawing, controlling, labeling, or attacking.  When the situations start having a turn, redirect the conversation toward our common goal.

3.  Make it safe

For good ideas to flow, everyone in the meeting must feel safe to share.  If I notice others are uncomfortable or safety is at risk, I must reestablish our why and mutual purpose.  Everyone must believe in the goals of the group for action to occur.  To create a joint plan, I can use the CRIB method:

  • C = Commit to seeking mutual purpose.
  • R = Recognize the meaning behind the strategy (or our ‘why’ we want this)
  • I = Invent a Mutual Purpose
  • B = Brainstorm new strategies

(Patterson et al., 2012)

By reestablishing everyone’s motive toward our mutual purpose, we can move forward in our discussions and proceed to our path to action.

4.  Master My Stories

I must keep the facts in my mind, remembering what I want, and acting to reach those results; this will reinforce my conviction and make me a master of my story. 

5. STATE your Path

During this step, I will use the STATE acronym to keep the dialogue going.

  • S= Share your facts first- don’t start with your story.
  • T = Tell your story.  Explain what you are starting to conclude.
  • A= Ask for others facts.  Encourage others to share their truths and their stories.
  • T= Talk tentatively.  Use language to show you are sharing your opinions to share your story as a story.
  • E = Encourage testing.  Encourage others to share differing opinions and opposing views.

(Patterson et al., 2012)

6. Explore Others’ Paths

It is always important to look at other perspectives and make them heard even if they are emotional or silent. To encourage others to share their views, we can use the listening tool AMPP:

  • Ask.  Start by seeking others’ views and input.
  • Mirror to Confirm Feelings. Increase safety in the conversation by acknowledging the emotions others appear to be feeling.
  • Paraphrase to Acknowledge their Story. Then, as others start to share their story and views, restate what you’ve heard to show understanding, and it is safe for them to continue.
  • Prime When You’re Getting Nowhere. If others continue to hold back, prime them by taking your best guess at what they may think and feel.

(Patterson et al., 2012)

This strategy will bring value to the change we want to make. No matter how much you have developed on your own, collaboration is a crucial factor to build a relationship and receive the support of others.   

7. Move to Action

This point is the culmination of the exchange of ideas guided by a common goal. Now we can move into action to get the results we want to achieve.

This entire process will happen any time during and after the implementation of our proposal. Therefore it is essential to practice and be prepared for these conversations which can occur at any moment.   

References:

Patterson, K., Grenny, J., McMillan, R., & Switzler, A. (2012). Crucial conversations tools for talking when stakes are high, Second Edition (2nd ed.). McGraw-Hill Education.

Vital Smarts India. (2012, February 10). Crucial Conversations Explained in 2 Minutes [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/ixEI4_2Xivw

Mathew David Bardwell. (2010, November 10). Friedman’s Theory of Differentiated Leadership Made Simple [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/RgdcljNV-Ew